He walked to the closet and rummaged around in one of the boxesuntil he found what he was looking for, dilapitory cream. He walked intohis bathroom and began lathering from his chin down in the foul smellingliquid. The directions said to let it sit for 3-5 minutes but he let itsit for 15. He then started the shower and watched as all his body hairfell to the tub floor and flowed down the drain. He got out the showerand toweled off then rubbed lotion into his now hairless body. He lookedat himself in the full length mirror. "I'm not a real man he repeated.He walked back into the spare room and rummaged in the box again until hepulled out a small box, a comb and a hair dryer. He walked back to thebathroom and began reading the back of the box. "For maximum resultsfirst wet the hair fully then rub in the bleach and let sit for 30 minutesto achieve maximum blonde hair." He read. His wife was a brunette butdyed her hair blonde from time to time. He put his head in the sink. She kissed me on the cheek and lightly stroked my face.'How are you, darling? I've been worried about you. I've made you a nice beef stew, with lots of vegetables — I'm sure you're not eating properly. And a bottle of wine to go with it. I'll pop the stew in the oven to warm up, and you can open the wine.'I followed her into the kitchen, and she looked at the pile of dirty dishes and sniffed. 'I'll was that lot up when we've eaten.''Are you all right, darling? I think you're better off without Sylvia, but you must take care of yourself.' She hesitated. 'I — I don't want to be nosey, but what finally caused the break-up? Or don't you want to talk about it?'I took a deep breath. 'I suppose it was my fault, really. She was always pretty cold, prudish, really, and she didn't enjoy sex, and, well, she found out I was having sex with a girl at work... ''The silly cow — she didn't know what she was missing... 'I handed Mum a glass of wine, and we toasted each other. She looked at me over the.
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